All translation providers are NOT created equal - you may enjoy the language humour (or humor) below! Not that we want to worry you...

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bullet As they say, a sense of humour is a funny thing, but we think you may enjoy the following fine examples of the translator’s art... If you see other examples of language humour you'd like to share with us, please drop us a line
bullet We’ll be changing or adding to this selection occasionally, so stop by for a smile now and then… these particular gems were updated on 5 January 2007...
smiley Today's is a throwaway society, but we were surprised at a European translation agency’s claim: “OUR TRANSLATORS ARE DISPOSABLE WORLDWIDE…” Not a career with prospects then!
smiley And we also winced at a German sales brochure, offering: “Our garage doors will raise your eyebrows…” – Ouch!
smiley Spanish tourism is catching the trend for spicier holidays, with a tourist map offering: “For those who love to be close to nature the camping guide will fulfil their desire” – excitable race, the Spanish!
smiley And this excerpt from a French travel brochure is worth reading: “[the town] finds her rest only well after midnight, fully decided in having a share in all of life’s jubilations, hoping never to let fall a crumb along the wayside” – sounds like quite a place!
smiley Back-translating some Arabic (not ours!) for an aerospace manufacturer, we were pleased to correct references to “the pit where cocks fight”. Yes, they meant the cockpit...
smiley Still up in the air, a translation of a Czech pilot training manual assures that "the rubber pedals will yaw the plane left and right". Our pilots insist on rudder pedals , which give better control.
smiley Back on the ground, some new sportswear boasts “This item... with his particular structure, prevents wind from going through” - a feature doubtless welcomed by fellow gym users! Thanks Angela!
smiley But you don’t have to be "foreign": seen in a UK TV mag; ”… our chef will be preparing lime and lemon mouse…” Crunchy...
smiley The jaw-breaking “Spaghettis with clamps” was on offer in a Spanish restaurant – we hear the maitre d' arranges dental appointments for the right tip...
smiley While another restaurant, somewhat colourfully, proposes “rape in the sailor's style” - but don't panic, "rape" is in fact Spanish for "monkfish". It's usually important to translate ALL the words... Thanks to Mar Brotons for this!
smiley Still on the subject of eating, we were delighted to find "sausage shaped dogfood" translated as "food for sausage shaped dogs". "I'm just going to roll Fido before supper, dear..."
smiley The immortal words on a donkey ride advert in Thailand:- "WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?"
smiley And a heartfelt sentiment greets you in a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it." (this one's showing its age a bit, but there's no point russian these things...)
smiley Husbands beware the laundry in Rome, which offers: " Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."
smiley Reassuringly, skilled translators can still achieve wonders with a good dictionary. A tailor in Rhodes recommends you "Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict order." Apparently they don't get many complaints - or repeat orders...
smiley If you fancy a naughty weekend under canvas in Germany, be warned: " IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE."
smiley Further limiting campers' enjoyment, another Black Forest site warns "The playing with big balls is prohibited inside the Place." - thanks to Peter Dean of Leeds for passing this on...
smiley Equally straight-laced, a Swiss hotel advises guests: "BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE."
smiley And to finish on the fly, an airline ticket office in Copenhagen boasts: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
bullet Finally, the following also fits the "language humour" bracket...
smiley A new customer shared with us his attempt to contact a business in China. On calling the number, he heard an answering m/c in Chinese, and a beep. He left a message, but got no reply. Again he called, with the same result. This continued over subsequent weeks, running-up an extensive bill. Eventually he found himself with a Chinese speaker, and called once more. He was a little discomfited to learn the distant voice was actually advising "We are sorry, but that number is not recognised" ...
bullet We hope you enjoyed reading these as much as we enjoyed collecting them! Meanwhile, if you're looking for real language, the rest of our website may be interesting - here's a good starting point!